Lately I've been feeling pulled towards my writing again. I haven't felt this way in years, and sadly the words don't flow as easily as they used to. It's a daily practice that comes from searching inwards and reflecting on where your mind is at. If you stop nurturing this practice, suddenly what came so naturally now starts to rust like an old faucet. I feel that way at the moment, and to be completely honest, it makes me feel emotional in many ways.
We often lose ourselves in our work, our relationships, and the endless responsibilities we accumulate as adults. This can create distance from who we are and where we want to be. Even with the best of intentions, if we don't catch ourselves in the midst of it, we inadvertently lose sight of our true purpose.
Yoga has been a healing force in my life. Whenever I feel my anxiety or depression coming back, I know that my practice has a way of bringing me back to the present. There have been times throughout class when I feel the intensity of purged emotions releasing from my body in the form of sweat. Nights of frustration and keeping my stress bottled up. When we keep our emotions to ourselves, they float around inside of us, trapped with no where to go.
At the beginning of every class, we set an intention to guide us throughout our practice. Recently one of my instructor's offered us a community intention to "Show Up For Yourself." I'm not sure why, but this particular message really struck a nerve.
It gave me a different perspective of looking at myself from an external point of view. We all have passions and goals we want to pursue. We all know it takes hard work and dedication. Do you remember the last time you set a goal for yourself and failed? How did you react? Did you feel down, frustrated, depressed? These are the moments we need to reconnect with ourselves, and look from the outside in. Showing up for yourself is about being your own ally.
I'll use the example of setting a goal for myself to wake up at 5am for yoga. I do not consider myself a morning person, but starting the day early means I'll have more time and energy to work on THE ART OF FATE, the passion that connects me to my purpose. Whenever I kept myself up late to finish assignments, I knew I risked not waking up the next morning for yoga. It became a repetitive failure. Every morning I would feel exhausted and not motivated to get out of bed. I felt like I kept letting myself down.
This experience circles back to the intention of showing up for yourself. By neglecting my own accountability in the midst of those late night assignments, I thought I was working harder. But I wasn't showing up for myself. In fact, I was doing the complete opposite. I'm getting better at checking in with myself to stay on track of my goals, but there are many times I still fall short. I'm also getting better at forgiving myself for that.
Practicing self-awareness by looking at ourselves from the outside is a daily practice we can incorporate in our lives to help us accomplish our goals and create more fulfilling work. Like writing and yoga, self-awareness is a never ending journey, but the more we practice the better we get.